Expunge your pain by writing about it (and maybe publishing it, too)

We often create photo albums of happy times in our lives.

Sometimes, however, it’s worth recording difficult times.

We probably aren’t taking photos of our fights, our grief and our embarrassing moments, but we can make sense of these stories by writing them down.

Recently, I wrote a memoir of my first marriage. My husband was caught in a sexual situation with one of his drum line students which led to criminal charges and jail time. I stayed with him for five years after this came to light but ultimately, our marriage fell victim to the underlying dynamics that led to the initial situation. We divorced.

The divorce was five and a half years ago. When I finally sat down to write about this time in my life, it was exceedingly difficult to make sense my own actions in the situation. Writing about it, however, helped me come to terms with what happened.

Pain shapes us as much or more as pleasure. If parts of your life story are painful, they may be the very parts you should be exploring and recording. I couldn’t have done it without the loving support and counsel of my second husband so I highly recommend assembling a support team — a friend, a writing group or a coach who’s been there like me — to help you. You may not choose to publish your story as I have, but the act of getting it out of your psyche and onto paper may heal you.

My self-published memoir, “The Percussionist’s Wife: A Memoir of Sex, Crime & Betrayal” is available now from these major online retailers:

If you’re thinking of capturing your difficult stories (or you simply like memoirs or true crime), check it out.

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2 comments on “Expunge your pain by writing about it (and maybe publishing it, too)

  1. I love your posts. I am also planning on writing my memoir soon but I’m still in the process of gathering my thoughts and experiences. Did you go the traditional route publishing your paperback version or did you also self-publish them. I read that you self-publshed your memoir, but did that include the paperback version? If you did, how was it and where did you have it printed? Thanks! Hope to hear from you soon. Cheerio! =)

    • Monica Lee says:

      Yes, I self-published my memoir. The paperback is published through CreateSpace, which is Amazon. It’s the only place you can order the paperback — Amazon — unless you buy it directly from me. It was fairly easy, though if you know Microsoft Word. I’m going to start a series on my author blog about self-publishing … check out http://mindfulmonica.wordpress.com/

      Thanks for reading!

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